Dearest Erika,
It wasn't right. Heejun outlasted you? In any other competition, this would be reason to titter and clutch our pearls and gather with our friends and family talking about the shocking (SHOCKING, I tell you) results. Alas, this isn't any other competition. This is American Idol, the place where dreams come to die. This is American Idol, the social experiment that looks for reality TV stars in place of actual singers. Sadly, I'm about 4 seasons of shenanigans past getting flooded with righteous indignation every time America makes the wrong choice. It isn't that I don't want to care, Erika. I just can't care. My relationship with Idol doesn't work that way anymore. So, yes, I'm sorry that you were eliminated too early. I'm especially sorry that you got a drastic makeover - the only one of the group, mind you - only to be mercilessly cut the same week. Now you look like Veronica: Princess of Darkness, but you have nowhere to terrorize innocent sprites like Hollie Cavanaugh. That really has to suck. I hope you keep singing. I hope you remember that losing to a fake comedy actor on Idol doesn't make you a bad person. Remember Alexis Grace? You don't? Well, she was a contestant in Season 8. Very talented and very pretty. She got cut around the same time, and the judges, like a bunch of ninnies, didn't give her the Save. Matt "The Forehead" Giraud got it later in the season, and I'm really not sure if he's even alive right now. You're like Season 11's Alexis Grace, a truly talented contestant dealt the wrong hand. So, yeah. This story was supposed to be inspirational, but I'm afraid this will probably make you feel worse. Hmmm ...
Hey! You get to return to Rhode Island! I've always wanted to go to Rhode Island. And the world definitely needs a talented mobile DJ. Don't let the kicks get you down, sister.
Best of luck,
Rachel
Oh, Dawgs. I knew Erika was doomed, but that didn't decrease my disappointment. Even though Heejun's stunt Wednesday night was a blogger's dream, he didn't deserve to stay over a contestant who actually takes the competition seriously. Erika was the only contestant who really dove into a makeover. She took all the advice that was given to her. She transformed into freaking Veronica: Princess of Darkness. What else do you want, America? The judges didn't even seem to consider Erika for the save. J. Lo just gazed at the stage looking regretful throughout Erika's swan song. Would it have killed them to pretend to deliberate? Paula always used to fake putting up a fight for even the most undeserving contestants. No one else seems to have Paula's flair for the dramatic.
Anyways ...
I sped through the results show on my DVR, pausing to watch about 9 seconds of the group performance before my ears started to ring. Crikey, that was some awfultastic singing. Lana Del Rey gave a strange but captivating performance of her break-out hit, "Video Games." I don't know whose soul Idol sold to get that amount of art on stage, but maybe this explains Erika's transformation into an underworld creature. Then Haley Reinhart returned to flash some leg and sing her new single "Free" from within a bird cage. Haley Reinhart! Isn't that a smash? She sounded good, and I actually liked the song.
And that was about it. Just another results show. Just another exhibition of a broken dream. Just another opportunity for Ryan Seacrest to draw out a foregone conclusion for an entire hour.
Bonus: One of my readers hunted down the website of the people who make Randy's pins. Mysteriously, even the makers of the pin won't give me any answers. What IS it? I must know!
And now, one of the cutest kitten videos you'll ever see:
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