Idol 2013: So This Show Is Still On ...: Semifinal Picks - Part 2: "I'll bring you some deer meat!"

Another cliffhanger? What be up with that, Idol? So now we’re left to wonder if A) Uncle Steven drowned in the Le Reve pool, B) J. Lo will ever wipe the stain of seeing Uncle Steven in his underwear out of her mind, and C) the maintenance crew at the Wynn ever found enough chlorine to decontaminate the pool. THESE ARE PRESSING QUESTIONS, IDOL!

Oh, and also there was some talk about which of these guys would make the brand new Top 25:

I think MY choice is clear ...

Aren’t you glad these preliminary episodes are over with now? Nuts of wonder, I feel ten years older than I did when this season started. I’ve reached my Randy Jackson quota for the year, thank you. That’s enough for now, Dawg. See you next year. But who made the final cut to sing for America’s votes? More importantly, would we ever find out before that disturbingly emotional giant flooded the holding room with his tears? We’re down to the wire, Dawgs, and that wire’s getting real. This … is … American Idol!

You Will See These People Again

Adam Brock: Although we were left on the brink of the judges’ decision on Wednesday with close-ups of Adam’s tear-stained face, they put him out of his misery on Thursday by putting him through.

My Thoughts: Put the damn baby pictures away, you cretin! It’s one thing to love your child to distraction, but it’s another thing entirely to use her to conjure up sympathy votes on one of the meanest shows in the world. Seriously, Adam, look at what this show does to me. I’m actually a sweet-tempered person in real life. Is it really necessary to expose his kid to the sniveling masses? No. No, it isn’t.

Jeremy Rosado: Marketed as the nice-guy contestant, Jeremy’s a sweet-natured young man with a voice as soft as butter. He was a member of the fantastic “Rockin’ Robin” group in Vegas, and while he might never be a heartthrob, Jeremy’s incredibly likable.

My Thoughts: Early favorite! Jeremy wasn’t even on my map until I heard his exquisite performance of Carrie Underwood’s “I Know You Won’t.” Did you hear that final note? Holy lungs, young man! Jeremy had the best reaction to the judges, too. When they told him he made it, Jeremy sank back into his chair a bit and whispered, “Are you sure?” I’m totally sure, Jeremy. See you on Tuesday!

Shannon Magrane: She with the sorta-famous baseball veteran dad made waves in the auditions when Uncle Steven called her “hot, humid and happening.” Since then, Shannon has been a fairly consistent producer-darling. And not to turn all Uncle Steven on you, but you can spot her by looking for the longest legs in the room. TALL. She’s tall.

My Thoughts: I must really be missing something with this girl because her voice leaves me cold. Her wide stance while she sings makes me uncomfortable, and I still don’t believe that she’s this Joss Stone-thing that she wants to be.

Skylar Laine: This ATV-riding, hunting enthusiast teenager caught my attention with her spunky personality. The judges like to compare her sassy country performance style to Reba.

My Thoughts: I genuinely like Skylar even though she’s clearly a BIP carrier. If the show’s handlers are wise, they’ll put her in her own room at the Idol mansion. My relationship with country music is tepid at best, and while Skylar isn’t the best singer in the competition, she’ll probably be one of the most entertaining. We’ll see how she does when the show inevitably pits her up against fellow country singers Baylie and Chelsea. Also: Skylar, thank you for rejecting your baser instincts to jump into that filthy pool that has probably held numerous sweaty Cirque du Soleil dancers. But next time you give Uncle Steven a bad idea, I’ll expect an apology.

Chase Likens, Hallie Day and Aaron Marcellus are apparently through, but the show doesn’t seem to want us to care about them. Poor kids.

Deandre Brackensick: This Michael Bolton-haired young man started his Idol journey last year and was mercilessly cut before the semifinal round. Fortunately, the judges took their heads to work this year and are finally giving America the privilege to vote for the long-named crooner.

My Thoughts: Early favorite! His beautiful performance of “This Woman’s Work” made rainbows sprout from my TV. It made angels cry for joy. It made ponies leap in meadows of buttercups. It made me believe in love again. In short, I really, REALLY liked it.

Hollie Cavanaugh: Although Ryan’s voiceover told us that Hollie’s Idol journey began in Galveston, it actually began in Season 10 when she had a nervous breakdown during her audition. Remember that? Like, she sang “The Climb,” and the judges weren’t sure, and she just started sobbing and shaking like the world was coming to an end. For a show so heavy on back story and redemption arc, Idol kind of dropped the ball there.

My Thoughts: I guess she sounded good in the short clips we saw? But honestly, I was pushing for Ariel Sprague to make the semifinals.

Eben Franckewitz: This tow-headed little Beiber clone was pitted against the delightful David Leathers Jr. in the final elimination of the night. Eben took a crash course in SMUG from Reed Grimm in Vegas and performed a tepid little solo for his final audition.

My Thoughts: WTF, judges? David Leathers Jr. was totally robbed. I don’t believe for a minute that Eben can sing better than David, and he definitely doesn’t have the same amount of charisma. This poor kid will be easy pickings in the semifinal round.